Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Self-Control - Periclean Scholars & Fruits of the Spirit Series

Today’s fruit of the spirit is self-control. I will treat self-control as having possession over one’s own behavior, as well as resisting the urge to give in to temptation.

I will begin with an anecdote from Zambia. Proverbs 25:28 states, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” In this regard, I believe that self-control was cultivated while constructing our Habitat homes in Zambia. One of our main goals in building the houses was to ensure that they were structurally sound. As amateur builders, we relied heavily on our foreman, Noah, for guidance. Sometimes, I was tempted to stack bricks, smooth cement, and stack more bricks at a rate faster than recommended by Noah. This was only compounded by the frequency of downpours during the rainy season, so building time was precious. However, the Periclean program taught us the importance of listening to our partners in all things - especially when they are the clear experts on the matter. Listening to our partners’ needs meant resisting the urge to move too rapidly and delaying the gratification of completing the house. By modifying our behavior and not giving into temptation, we slowly but surely constructed strong homes that will last for generations.

I have often been told that I am very disciplined in nature, as evidenced through my success in marathon training runs done mostly by myself before the sun rises. I control my own behavior by getting in my miles and resist temptation by not sleeping in late.

Lately, however, I feel that living out the virtue of self-control - as well as many other virtues - has become a particular challenge to fully live out. A couple of events in my life have caused my balance to be thrown off kilter; even though it only marginally affects my running, in other areas I haven’t felt like myself for the past couple of days. Yet, I believe that it is in the toughest moments that we show our greatest strengths. I have been pulling from my Periclean toolbox to help me live up to these challenges.

My most recent challenge has been to not lash out at others who have hurt me or to seek vengeance against them. I have been seeking out ways to re-channel this negative energy and exert self-control by not giving in to such a damaging temptation. These vindictive feelings are not characteristic of my nature, so I have been trying to get rid of them as quickly and definitively as possible. I do not want any walls in my city to be knocked down as a result of bad blood.

Yesterday, I found that the best way to restore my balanced nature was in a manner that is completely Periclean: losing myself in service to others. I had one of my regular shifts at the safehouse. Now, sometimes it depends; I can leave feeling awful, because it is a stressful night and clients do not treat me like royalty (and that’s expected as part of the work). However, last night was the most exhilarating. I had my first intake. What that means is I facilitated a new client’s transportation to the safehouse, got the person oriented, helped to calm them down, and made them feel at home - like they did the right thing. My time was not spent lamenting my situation. I delayed (and partially erased) my selfish, negative feelings and my desire for vengeance by directly helping someone to flee domestic violence. By losing myself in service, I worked to find my balance.

Service, whether it be in the local community or around the globe, is an excellent avenue to grow the fruit of self-control. Servants resist the temptation to claim all of their time on earth as their own, and they give it freely to those in need. They listen to the needs of others and do not judge before getting complete information. They resist the temptation to condemn, and they choose love. In working with the Periclean partners, I found my colleagues and mentors exemplified this spirit of self-control. While it is not the sexiest of the fruits, I find its fruit to be one of the most sweet in the end.

I am thankful for the Periclean program for showing me the value of self-control, and providing me with the toolkit to value service as a means to achieve this fruit.

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